writan

July 5

I forgot to mention this a couple of days ago. So, the other day, we were marking tests (probably because the teachers were too lazy to?) of other classes. The topic of the English essay (not exactly an essay, the minimum was only a hundred words long.), which is a quote from a newspaper article :

You cannot teach the hard Science in Tagalog; you have to do this in English because it will take years before Tagalog are intellectualized.

And poor boy, whose paper I was marking. ~~An excerpt from his answer~~ Oxymoron of the day:

Our grammar in English is sometimes better than Amerikans.

No cookies for those who could guess my reaction. It's really a bit of a tragedy to see this in 3rd Year High School. I'm not bragging here, this is one of the most basic in English. Not to mention that the Philippines follows American English. And, boy, your essay was punctuated with grammar errors as well. So you Amerikan? Well that makes one of us.
He also started off the essay by saying the quote was unjust and discriminative. But his answer only differed from the "unjust and discriminative" quote in its target.

But, to save this boy some face - I think he only went Anti because he thought he would get brownie points for being patriotic. This is of course judged by the few supporting lines he gave, all weak and without real reason. Surely the first quote is good enough an example, but here's another one:

Most people in the Philippines know how to read and write.

Ha ha!

Still very upset over the email thing.

Because all of the stars have faded away
Just try not to worry, you'll see them someday
(How do you know?)
Just take what you need, and be on your way.
(What if what is needed are those damn stars?)
And stop crying your heart out.

Oh my god. The last time Gallagher sings "Just try not to worry, you'll see them someday," he actually says "us."
I just realized.
Oh my god.
Excuse me.

July 6

As expected, I failed Trigonometry. Very badly at that. But cut me some slack, at the period of Long Tests I was only into my third week into a completely foreign school. Shows how I couldn't comprehend the instructions at all and ended up leaving them blank.

At least I had my English paper to show my parents as well because my 124-word essay (which I talked about yesterday) scored full and a notation of "Impressive!", so that was pretty much enough to redeem me of my 1/5 Excellence (you do the math) in Trigonometry.

But oh god I can never take an English class in peace, they marked me wrong for:

4. A high percentage of the population (is, are) evacuating to the municipal hall.

A high percentage of the population ARE ?! I'm sure it's a mistake in marking.

Tomorrow is Integration Day and I think I'm supposed to be a ninja who runs across the stage once, in the play. But I'll get out of it somehow since I'm only an extra anyway and the people I know have made a deal to dress up as "ninjas" (easiest costume - black get up) so I'll easily blend in.

Believe me, my very first reaction/thought to this was SKIP. I'm only bothering to attend this because there are sanctions for those who don't, i.e. walking around in school on Monday wearing a huge tag that says I DID NOT ATTEND INTEGRATION.
Bringing my camera so hopefully these people don't repel it.

Today I looked at the quotes (all of either unrequited love or heartbreak) on the class bulletin board, and reazlied that lyrics of The Spill Canvas' All Hail the Heartbreaker was there as well. Doubt anyone knows though. Everyone in my class listens to local stuff.

Mrs. Cangco says I'm too noisy during Balikbayan class, but it doesn't matter because everyone else is anyway. And I almost never talk in my own class, my class is fucking dipshit.

July 7

Oh gosh prepaid internet just ran out stupid sister and her Friendster

And we're not getting the broadband tomorrow, but on Sunday. Imagine my horror. 48 hours without internet!

I stupidly didn't bring my extra camera battery to school, so it died on me after taking a video of dancing teachers, which was before the more picture-worthy moments came, i.e. Miguel's pink and blue hair, Monica's brilliantly forged Gibson logo on her guitar, Chriszaldy's blue mouth and Roel's bath in fake snow.

You know how you think of falling down deliberately, if you were hit or if you were supposed to act like you died? And you have No clue on how you're going to fall because it feels awkward.
Well don't worry, because at the moment itself, you'll surprise yourself how easy it came. I know I was, ha ha.

I'm still struggling with Jane Eyre. It doesn't help that I'm so dying to start on Eveything Is Illuminated already. The girl is just not gripping me, the story has a very slow start.

I wonder how that guy from Spain found this place.

Okay I haven't done this in quite a while.

35. Acoustic guitar
36. Staring at paintings
37. Getting a full score on spelling and having a (false) sense of intelligence

July 8

Fantastic. Broadband means the computer in my room will either go downstairs or to my parents' room. The latter has absolutely no space for a PC unit but my father insists on not letting me use it.

I really don't understand because 1) There is no internet connection on this computer, 2) I don't stay up late using it anyway 3) I do my fucking homework, all right.

"But there's no reason to move it out, I don't stay up late on the computer!"
His reply - "Because I WANT TO, and you can't do anything about it."

Wow I really just want to hit my father's face in sometimes.

Before this it was the Tablet PC. Fine. I adjust, use the desktop. And now that I have you want to mothereffing take this away, too.

If I were storing pornograhpy in the computer, or staying up until four in the morning, or keeping it turned on the whole day, I would understand. But the thing is, dad, I'm not as irresponsible as you think I am, and you know that, but are in denial.

Not having this computer in my room will mean I won't have an outlet to write.

Father, this will result in combustion.

The computer will go to the TV room downstairs, which has absolutely no privacy unless I get up at midnight to write.

Father, you don't like me staying up late but the carrying out of this (yet another) change is going to leave me no choice but to. "No choice" in this context is justified because:
- I don't have a cellphone line (I do, but you're not letting me get the prepaid load for it anyway because I don't use it)
- Email is not always accessible (and more recently not reliable either, sadly)
- Penpals are out of the question
- I can't talk to family members
- I can't call to Singapore
- I can't Go to Singapore
- If you say you know me like you so claim to do you would understand that I need to write and tell other people and read about them because people get sick of their lives and they just want to read someone else's sometimes.

If the computer goes to my parents' room, well there isn't much to say about that now is there? My father sleeps there in the day, for one.

Father, I showed you my English test and you said that I really do excel in English but have you ever wondered how I acquire such grasp in the language? Where do you think I spend the majority of my time? Or spend most of my time trying to get there? It sure as hell isn't school, I'll give you that. School is a pile of gobshite.

(Oh god I just said "gobshite." Hilarious. Excuse me while I quaff my gigantic beer mug and feed my pet leprechaun.)

I really don't get it. It's either he's too stubborn or insensitive to try to understand where I'm coming from, or he already knows but doesn't want to budge.

Will that mean we're 'addicted' to these online environments? No more than so many of us are addicted to talking on the phone. We readily accept the idea that the phone is a legitimate channel of communication, even though it compresses our voice into an imitation of itself and leaves the rest to the imagination. We've lived with the phone long enough that it doesn't seem artificial anymore. We'll go through the same acclimation process with our on-screen avatars.

Thank you, Steven Johnson (author of Everything Bad Is Good For You, which I wanted to get but didn't in the end), for that.

What I need to do (and hopefully will be able to) once broadband is up
1. Check out photos that I couldn't see before because of dial-up
2. Finally (like after years of regularly visiting it) get a DeviantArt account
3. Catch up with Radiant
4. Catch people on MSN
5. Look for reading material
6. GET NEW MUSIC. Oh god I've waited way too long.

Oh my GOD I think my MP3 player is dying. The USB wire's getting lose for no reason. Why couldn't they have made it like the iPod Shuffle. I'm going to cry.

BROADBAND TOMORROW OMG.

July 10

Recap:

Friday Night
- Liana finished pre-paid Internet, from staring at people on Friendster
- I found out cable guys weren't coming to install broadband on Saturday, but on Sunday
Saturday
- Stuck in confirmation seminar again
- Looked forward to Sunday

And yesterday:
- Looked forward to every single next hour, hoping a truck from Destiny Cable would park beside our front lawn
- Went nuts (though not noticeable) when cable guys didn't arrive by 6 p.m.
- Official half-death (read: the disfunction of the Drive utility) of my MP3 player
- Went nuts again

I'm not doing very well without the computer in the room. Then again, I might switch to my old blogging decorum again, taking into consideration the Internet Connection I will have easy access too (until 9:30 p.m.). Heavy bargain, that curfew, but at least it's only for school nights. (Wow, sound familiar? I wonder if it will work this time.) On non-school nights, the curfew is the word "Enough." from either parent's mouth.

Meaning I'll be up late tonight - provided the cable guys arrive today. Preferrably while I'm in school (which is now) so I'll have a pleasant surprise when I get home. But even if it isn't, that's fine.

OK see, if this were Singapore I would have run to the nearest internet café.
If this were Crescent, I'd have nothing to worry about, thanks to the principal's brilliant idea of the Tablet PC Pilot Project.

Which was a complete flop, and will, unfortunately, most probably result in a noticeable change in the 2007 batch of O Level Results.

But please note that it is not entirely the fault of the student body's lack of self-discipline, as the school faculty did nothing to remedy this. In fact they did not contribute to the project at all - except upload worksheets on MLG... That they ask students to print out and hand in anyway, so it's the students' loss of printer ink and quality A4 paper.

Not that San Beda is any better - believe it or not, the school has Run out of water.

It's a bit confusing.

Every single student in the school pays the price of fucking Texas to get into this Private school - including water fees. (Others include computer lab maintenance, air-conditioning fees, and the library fee. Just a little trivia.)

And then the school reasons that there are too many consumers for the water to provide?
What happened to that water fee, then?
If everyone pays - which I am sure they have because it is included in the enrolment fee - then why should such a shortage exist?

I am surprised they are not complaining about soaring electricity bills as well, every classroom blasts two air-conditioners' worth of cold air during school hours. I mean, the air-conditioner is great, specialy on 37-degree days, but two of them in a (badly estimated) 35' x 35' room is a bit unnecessary.

This is where I commend (and thank much) Sam for being the brainchild of last year's 'fund' (and this is where everyone who donated get their credit) for my jacket as a birthday present - and actually getting it in the end. You see people say things about starting funds for you all the time, but until this girl came along, every single 'fund' any person has mentioned to me was a big fat empty promise.

The jacket has proved to be the most important item of extra clothing here. The last time I left for school without the jacket was about a month ago when I was shaking from the cold in the classroom. It was horrible. I had to rub at my chest as an attempt to stop my teeth from chattering. This is something I did not predict when I was still back in Singapore. Who knew I'd be going to a school with air-conditioned classes?

July 11

So today was a school holiday, meaning a six-hour refuge at *Alabang Town Center.

("Town," according to jargon of the Filinvest/Alabang youth. Imagine how nostalgic for me that is:
"Hey, you wanna go to town tomorrow?"
*image of Orchard Road pops in head*)

The entertainment ration: the movie R.V., that damn Percussion Master arcade machine, the holy hour at the internet café, and a fucking hell lot of sugar.

Emphasis on the last phrase. I managed to finish most of the chocolate rocks, and miraculously a humongous cup of iced lemon tea. It's all Chriszaldy's fault, his undying love for candy rocks is what started it. I don't go hyper on sugar, I'm more of a tipsy person but it's not like I drink often.

Except that one time in Crescent when I tasted everybody's Home Economics tests, which were all some kind of dessert, meaning sugar intake to the maximum extent, meaning me laughing throughout training and grinning and waving at everybody and skipping instead of walking and singing down the rotunda with Bernette.

Anyway. Yeah so by around four in the afternoon, the sugar overdose was starting to kick in and I felt really sick. Like Ten-too-many-a-rollercoaster-ride Sick. And I wanted badly to put something salty into my system just to make it subside but I had to stop myself from wasting the money.

Speaking of that Percussion Master machine... I always thought it was corny, the big yellow drums? But realized all the ones I've come across in my life were just playing boring tunes. It's quite the arm-workout. I'm itching to have a go on it again. Though I discovered today that I have almost Zero left-hand to eye co-ordination when it comes to following beats. My left arm is only useful for catching balls with my glove.

Lostprophets have a very, very good album out. Which is great but bad for my wallet because I still intend to get Muse's.

Hopefully my relatives in Canada can get me my most loved film. Fantastic. (NOWHERE to be found here. Weird.)

*Alabang Town Center (Ah-la-BANG, Bang rhyming with Dung) - Shopping mall.

July 12

This is getting pretty damn long. Blame the absence of Internet. Hopefully their commitment to come tomorrow doesn't get postponed due to weather, too.

I watched a kitten die today.

A couple of months ago I watched another die, it was stick thin and probably too weak to keep walking, it was by the sidewalk across from our street. I took photos - click. I thought this was already bad.

It was nothing compared to what I saw today.

This kitten, it was sleeping or using the car as shelter from the rain. The car started, the kitten got up to move, went in the wrong direction. Crunch. Face gone.

The parking space was emptied, the driver probably never knew what he/she did, or maybe he/she did and just ignored. He/she was a bastard, he/she should have stayed to see what it was like afterwards.

The kitten was the only thing that occupied the parking space, and like a good ballet dancer it did well to dominate its stage of death, thrashing about exactly like a fish out of water, because of the pain.

I just stood there with my mouth open, eyes wide and not blinking, I thought the scene of the drowning father in Poseidon (which I also mentioned here before) was the worst I could come across, but this cat was really, really something else.

After a few minutes it stopped, after a couple more it urinated, and another five minutes later was cue for heavy rain.

I've always wondered if it is true that animals have no emotion.

July 13

No cookies for you if you guessed the cable guys didn't come today.

July 14

They actually arrived, but now the modem is defective and it's not confirmed if they will be able to come back and replace it THIS IS DRIVING ME NUTS.

July 15

The MOTHERFUCKER didn't come again.

My father threatened to cancel the subscription, this is the part where they're supposed to chase after their customers but they're not, making them lousy and so bloody fucking annoying.

This has been going on since LAST WEEK.

Every time I ask my father about the internet, or even utter the word "internet," he immediately switches to his bad mood. Everyone in the house thinks I'm being absurdly irrational about this whole thing, blowing it out of proportion, yesterday I got so tired of it I actually muttered "doesn't anyone understand?" and that was a big mistake - just another cue for the lecture of "Internet Addiction" to rear its ugly, ugly head.

So we're going to call another company for the connection, which will probably take super long Again, I said "can we buy pre-paid then" and my sister recoiled in shock saying "*SUS hindi naman kailangan eh!"

And before I could stop:

YEAH FOR YOU YOU DON'T HAVE A LIFE ON THE INTERNET
"yes I do!"
YEAH WHAT, FRIENDSTER REQUESTS? YOU SEE THOSE PEOPLE LIKE FIVE TIMES A WEEK
"So?"

And then my mother glared at me for shouting.

I had to get up early to attend a "practice" today, at some rich classmate's house, it was a complete waste of time, I hardly did anything because I had to leave early. There were three people in charge - two of which were busy telling everyone "get to your places!" and then proceeding to camwhore although one of them is in a shirt 23950218410 sizes too small for herself wherefore made her look stupid.
And the other one? Two hours late.

And they can still strut around telling people to do things, they never concern themselves with unglamourous work - you see we were supposed to be practising for this choral reading thing, meaning stupid actions while talking, meaning Not For Them.

They were looking for lively catchy dancy songs, classes are supposed to have their kind of 'theme song', I offered the stuff in my MP3 player and a few others but no one listened, obviously, so whatever. Ha ha no one likes me in the class, I can tell. Why couldn't I have been put in 37, where half the Balikbayan class people are.

Braces tightened today. Nice to see you again, Mashed Potato.

See this is why life sucks. suXx0rs. Whatever.

*"SUS hindi naman kailangan eh!" - SHEESH there's no need to!
(SUS [u as itself] hin-DEE na-MAHN kah-ee-LA-ngan eh)

Updated Monday, July 17, 2006, 06:06 p.m..