Note: You can take time reading this, I probably won't be posting another for quite a while because I have
exams on the 7th. AGAIN geez.
And I would very much enjoy any sort of REACTION or comment.
July 17
My friend Jessica's turning fifteen soon, while waiting for Mrs Cangco to arrive she paced the floor and
said
I'm turning fifteen next week! But it doesn't feel it. I mean, like, nothing happened at fourteen, it doesn't feel like
it's over. I feel the same.
Surprising myself, I answered
Well being someone who's already sixteen, I think it's safe for me to say that nothing much happens at fourteen.
Everything only barely begins to begin. You're in for a ride at fifteen though, haha, have
fun.
July 18
Highlight of the day:
Walking through the door, seeing my grandfather on the computer and hearing my father explain email to him.
And then running to the TV room to find a beautiful blinking modem beside the CPU.
Initial plans were to go to sleep because I woke up with a disgusting headache that stuck to me the whole day,
but upon seeing the modem I swallowed a painkiller (I don't normally take medication for headaches) and
patiently waited for my turn on the computer.
Thank you Izz for all the music, the girl had a fantastic idea of sending me a zipped file of songs for my birthday!
(hint for others to follow suit)
Black Holes and Revelations is a great album.
A lot of Filipinos have the bad habit of directly translating Tagalog into English, it probably isn't technically wrong
but it's just ugly to hear:
" I will get now the paper "
Not the best example, it doesn't sound that weird, but there are others I have heard that just sound so much
worse. "I will get now the paper" is a direct translation of *"
kukunin ko na ang papel" which is correct, in
Tagalog.
I wonder what grade I'm going to get in class participation.
Yes, they grade you on how much you raise your hand to answer questions, and vice versa. And I could be well
damned before I bother to do that.
Do not mistake this for rebellion, that's stupid.
Though today I did outsmart the Geometry teacher in Algebra.
Yesterday she explained how two unknowns should be assumed as the same variable. Which was weird, even
for a math idiot like me, so I showed her my answer and she rejected my explanation.
Today she announced that she researched/worked on the equations and said her explanation was wrong, so I
asked if my answers needed to be changed and she said no and smiled.
Here's an example of one of the equations:
Find the supplementary angle of (x-25)°
So basically it was taught that the x in there^ and the unknown angle is assumed the same value.
Okay fine, it was super easy, but give me the benefit of the doubt.
*"kukunin ko na ang papel" -
(coo-COO-nin KO NA ANG pah-PEL)
July 20
So I got to the school bus first, sat next to the door.
Jessa, who usually sits there, came in after me and she was like WHAT ARE YOU DOING I SIT
THERE!
Obviously, that was a stupid statement, I rolled my eyes and defended myself, geez you don't OWN the bus,
go to hell.
But you see thick people like her think that people like me who go against her are thick, so she proceeded to call
me thick and sulked on the opposite side of me.
Big fucking hairy deal, I got there first and sat there, so what?
Jessa's character is one of those that you just really love to hate. On the first day of school:
Adrienne: So are you two like siblings or something? (referring to another boy on the bus)
Jessa: Oh no, we're just about to be best friends!!!!1111
Note that this was after the first day of school, and she is a new student.
Response on the boy's part? A wide-eyed, Skeptical MSN Smiley. ( ^o) )
She is just beyond irritating, no word or phrase in my vocabulary can describe her, imagine having to withstand
her to and from school five days a week, she thinks she's so cool with her stupid pink iPod Nano while she
headbangs and
sings to the Pussycat Dolls. No one gives a fuck if you live on the same street
as *
Aga Mulach, please.
"Sings" is in Italics because a putting a word in Italics means the word is a connotation. In this case, the
connotation is that the word is synonymous with "croak"
Later on during the ride home she suddenly said, "It's all ADRIENNE'S fault! She's sitting in my place!" and I was
just so revolted I shouted It's not your place I got here first geez why do you even care shut the hell up and
then laughed after that, because it was all so silly, she was so angry over a bus seat, stupid
thirteen-year-old.
And the only thing worse than a kid like that is a kid like that who Thinks she's all mature just because she
knows someone from the junior year, and well that's her too.
She does know I don't like her though, the other day she said "You know, it's obvious you're bitchy," and I said
"To you? Really? Good."
Then again, she also likes greeting me in the hallways, and on Integration Day the loser didn't have anyone to
walk around with so she walked to my table, plopped down on a chair, put her hotdog on the table and said "Let
me hang out with you!" while tugging at her yellow Winnie the Pooh shirt.
Joutaro came back from the restroom and asked, "Is that your sister?" and I immediately said HELL
NO.
Okay well those paragraphs were pretty useless.
*Aga Mulach (AH-gah MOO-lak) - Filipino celebrity
July 21
The boy in front of me was tearing forms, one by one he folded them and tore them with only his hands. The
uneven, mouse-bitten-like edges of the stack of torn forms shows that he wasn't exactly having the greatest time
of his life. So I handed him a ruler.
"What am I going to do with a ruler?!" he mocked, raising his eyebrow at me.
I laughed, took a piece of paper and did what to him was Ruler Magic.
"Oh man that's fantastic!"
Then he proceeded to show everyone and laughed everytime the paper tore against the ruler's edge in a perfect
straight line.
Just thought I'd share, it was rather amusing.
I was looking at a senior class' bulletin board today (we have our Balikbayan classes there) and there was a
question of where you'd like to go to college if money wasn't an issue.
I was surprised to see a lot of people wrote that they want to go to Singapore to study. This wasn't the first time
either, a handful of people who've asked me where I came from marvelled when I said Singapore, like it was
some sort of holy land.
When queried about the tuition fee, I said around 30 Singaporean Dollars the most, as long as you're a citizen or permanent
resident.
"How much is that in pesos?"
I never thought of it, I calculated roughly and said Less than a thousand, even I was surprised at the
realization.
*"
PUTANG INA!"
Yeah, this is the part where you realize how lucky you are if you are studying in the abovementioned country.
English Oral is very different here, it's a lot more casual, you only have to stand up in class to answer a question.
Mine was:
What do you believe is the meaning of "Behind every man's success is a woman" ?
'Woman,' in this context, I believe does not refer to a real physical woman supporting a man. Similarly, 'man'
does not just refer to a person with a penis. I believe that Woman in this context is a personification of real love -
a support, someone who cares and a will to keep on going - thus bringing man, as in you or me even, to real
success.
Okay I left out the penis bit. And it was impromptu, so forgive the lack of content. It's easy to score in English
here anyway, in terms of writing.
There is no brutal process, for example, of racking your brains trying to please a certain Queen of Lipids to get a
remotely decent mark on your essay.
My teacher smiled when I mentioned the generalization of the quote, I think this was because he is, well, let's
just say he's very effeminate. And the fact that I indirectly implied that real love need not only be shared
between a man and a woman probably hit his soft spot.
*"Putang ina!" (POO-tahng ee-NA) - "Son of a bitch!"
July 22
I watched The Interpreter today, my god Nicole Kidman is pretty.
I oriented my uncle to Music Beyond LimeWire, it was quite funny he was leaned forward on the table, eyes
wide behind prettyful silver-rimmed tinted shades, clinging onto every word I say.
He also said the funniest thing of the week:
Wow you're confirmed Catholics now! Oh my gosh *
sana hindi JF! *whispers* I'll tell you later *does
the International Gesture for Lips Are Sealed*
Later on he told me JF stood for Jesus Freaks.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
*sana hindi (SAH-nah hin-DEE) - hopefully not
July 23
My mother just launched into a speech of how her Being A Mother doesn't seem to matter anymore, which
resulted in my father having to do something about it, which resulted into being grounded (what the HELL is the
noun for grounded? Ground? Groundation? Groundness? (oh great now the word 'ground' looks weird) But that's
for slight electric shock.) until Saturday.
As usual, my mother expressed desire to throw the computer out of the window, and then further expressed
fervent questioning of Why We Even Got Broadband.
I was so annoyed all my vocabulary could summon was "mom sucksssssssssssssss."
Here we go!
July 24
Classes suspended today because of the State of the Nation Address (SONA) by the president.
I don't understand why people don't like/support her, she seems pretty okay to me. Some people here loathe her
as a big part of America does their own (Which is really bad). Maybe I haven't stayed here long enough, but
geez at least she's actually getting things done, since the beginning of her term she's been developing the
provinces and, most importantly,
progress is evident.
Unlike other past "leaders".
And if rumors about fiddling with votes
are true, then everyone should be thankful she did, because
otherwise who would have won? A man who has Low-Budget Action Movies on his resumé.
Everyone knows it, these people run for office just for the power. Money. Fame. Put their shoes up on the desk.
Get a big house. Have a crowd clapping for them when they announce something. Name and face on the papers.
Actually, if you want a big house - start a franchise, a business, study, write a good book, make a GOOD local
movie for once. Anything.
Just don't stand on top in the presidential position and wait for money to be passed to you and let the rest of the
country crumble and dissolve under your feet.
July 25
I don't usually watch One Tree Hill, but I was flipping channels and I caught the voiceover of a boy looking at
Tree Hill High, talking about the stereotypes, the discrimination, and how it was all going to end on that
day.
Naturally, I stopped flipping channels.
When he first shot the gun it was supposed to be at a guy who once again trashed his locker, but he missed and
hit Peyton, when he shot the gun he had a look of terror on his face, he wasn't angry he was tired and scared
and lost.
There was a lockdown, Hayley and a few others locked themselves in a room, what they didn't know that
Jimmy who was in there with them was the one carrying a gun.
He holds them hostage, there is nothing planned, he doesn't know why he won't let them go I think he just
wanted someone to listen to him.
I was once gone for two weeks, he said, gun still in his hand, I was sick he said, and when I came back
everything was the same, like I never left. He said that's what it's like, no one misses you when you're
gone.
He said there was one day I went through school completely unnoticed, no one looked at me no one talked to
me. He said I realized that was the best day of my life.
He said I'm never going to get back the day my dad came to pick me up from school and saw me getting beat
up by other guys, he said that face, that face a father uses on you when he realizes his son is a LOSER.
He was tired of everything, he didn't want to be pushed around, he wanted it to stop but knew he couldn't stop
it.
By now he was kneeling down in defeat, crying, brandishing the gun in a melancholy way as he talked, he said
I'm tired.
Then he said I'm sorry, pointed the gun at his heart and pulled the trigger.
I don't know if my description did the episode any justice at all, it was depressing to the extent that I was
unexplainably glad to see the actor who played Jimmy Edwards beside Chad Michael Murray talking about
suicide and giving local (USA) helplines, at the end of the show.
July 26
Social Studies just about ate me alive, remembering Greek names for me is like trying to get yo mamma to win
a drag race.
I was thinking about these students who study so hard, those whose parents tie them down with lead, those
who get home at eight in the night from tuition and have a stack of books to welcome them home...
That's not even the sad part, the sad part is that some of them do it because they don't know what else to do,
they know so little about the world, they thrive on their parents' orders, their ideal that they think is their own,
well it actually isn't.
And what's worse than that is that they don't realize it until they are workaholic adults, rueful about their
non-existent youth while drinking their twelfth cup of coffee that night, wondering when homework finally
stops.
And those who Do know what they're doing, and have their parents behind them all the way, they get good
lives walking down a steady, straight, justified path of gold; what's the use, they say the shortest distance from
one point another is a straight line and who wants to make a beeline for death?
I'd rather take a couple of wrong turns, get lost, retrace paths, linger for a bit.
If in your opinion things have turned the worst they can get, then all the more to stay, you've hit rock bottom
and they only way is up.
Have good company, will travel.
David Sedaris was in town for a book signing and I wanted to go badly to get one of his books but I had exams
geeez. I knew I should have grabbed
Dress Your Family In Corduroy and Denim in Kinokuniya a year ago.
July 28
English = 93%, yo :D
Though I could have gotten a lot higher if I had actually read instructions instead of assuming we were to write
"T" for "True." I forgot how meticulous our English teacher was (he set the paper), English is English and T
doesn't mean anything in the dictionary.
The English dictionary, at least; not l33t sp34k or whatever the fuck.
We finally did some writing in English class ("Reflections After Long Test 2") and I must say I got a little carried
away and started writing like I would Here.
And obviously, Here, you regulars would know that any reflection at any aspect of education will trigger an
honest and firm opinion of mine. That is, sadly, often misinterpreted by adults who also often miss that thin line
between Rebellion and Having Different Priorities.
Sixteen is not that young, man, if I could drop everything right now and just write and take photos and listen to
music, I could actually have a chance at the very hazy future.
Well anyway I regurgitated a couple of phrases from old entries, mixed it up with sarcasm and I am interested in
finding out the reaction of the English teacher. Hell, it's just the first essay, and besides I already gave him a
more formal one during the last exam.
I caught this show about plastic surgery earlier tonight, oh my GOD what people DO to be able to purchase a
bra 293578032 cups bigger.
(I know, I know, this is the part where I am supposed to stop complaining about my own, my mother was
proclaiming "see what people do to get a chest like yours!"
BUT I will get back to you once back fat has disappeared. End of story.)
Anyone planning to get implants once they're legal should think twice, surgeons do grotesque things while you're
under the mask, if you saw a knife cutting into your breast I think you would damn well die right there on the
spot. Let me try to paint the picture.
So it's lying there, a hill (or lack thereof) of flesh poking through blue cloth. Just like kindergarteners these people
cut along the drawn-on-your-boob lines.
Knife pierces through, moves widthwise from left to right, this is where it gets ugly, you know when you get a
fresh-out-of-the-oven Chicken (or beef or whatever you prefer) Pau, and you cut a line through the top and the
outer layer opens
slowly, like it's alive, opening its mouth to breathe, to reveal the filling?
Substitute the Pau bread-thing for your skin, and its filling - red-ish tissues, muscles, and a white milk duct.
Say hi to your inner breast - meant in the most literal way possible.
The surgeon then has to make space for your new collagen-wrapped-in-plastic breast. How do you expect he do
that, with all the tissue and muscle (or, again, lack thereof)? So he moves it, duh, basic science tells us solids (or,
again in this case, lack thereof) cannot be compressed. The tissue and muscle is stuffed to the top of the breast,
he wipes the bottom half clean of tissue and muscle - with his glove-coated hands (watch his fingers claw from
inside your skin!).
All that moving, by the way, is why the aftermath of breast implants hurt like a motherfucker. Not because your
skin is being stretched.
The bottom half of your breast now looks like a pocket. Old-looking, loose skin.
You fill pockets, so the new artificial D-cups are now inserted into your breast.
Stitch the pocket closed. Repeat on other breast.
Should anything happen to this artificial D-cup, and becomes (1/2 x D), you either
1) get new ones
or
2) go through insurmountable pain of your tissue and muscle starting to move around again.
Should you go with option 2, anticipate to be the owner of breasts that are uglier than they supposedly were to
begin with.
These people who do such things, they say they are traumatized by their past of being called "flat as a pancake"
or "a boy".
Wow, I swear I read your article in Chicken Soup for the Soul! WHAT A TRAGIC STORY! You must be such an
inspiration to other flat-chested girls out there, what with growing up having such a burden upon your back and
finally letting it go by stuffing your
bra breasts!
When the woman said "Now that I have these I just want to go back to those people and stuff it (hey she's a
sub-conscious comedian! Fantastic pun!) in their faces! Haha, but, I won't."
I was disgusted, truly. Truly in evey sense of the fucking word and every other word under in the thesaurus that
means Truly.
That's only part of what I watched.
Want a flat stomach? Go to the fucking gym.
I'm not talking about liposuction, everyone knows liposuction is like having a giant machine drink up your fat with
a straw.
I didn't catch what the method was called, but I did catch "this is what is so Beautiful about it, it's safe and easy
to do."
Scene then cuts and opens again to a stretched bellybutton, being sliced off.
Your extra skin is cut into rectangles and placed on a tray.
The remaning of the stomach is then cut to make a big rectangular flap. Flap is opened, fat is revealed, looking
like the icing of your last birthday cake; fat is sliced through and removed, flap closed and stitched back and then
your stomach looks gross for weeks.
It does get better but your bikini bottom will have to be as high as above your now protuding hipbone, which for
bikini bottoms are like the 90s jeans trend.
Hip-to-hip scar, duh.
Moving on, I woke up today and decided to wear a pink shirt to school, and of all days, Chris chose to ask me
about my apparent lack of ownership of girly clothes Today. Today, when I
wore a pink shirt to
school. Sheesh.
(See if you can spot the ghost of a checkered pillow in the background, ha ha I was clonestamping it and forgot
to flatten layers so you can see a bit of the pillow from the layer underneath. I got lazy to do it again.)
(And yes I do realize I have tree trunks for arms please stfu.)
July 29
So this is turning out to be excessively long.
Thursdays are fantastic because Will & Grace and the Friends and Meredith Grey and her whole clan come over
to keep me company.
8 p.m.
Karen: If my brain could still send signals to my face you would see the terror on it right now!
Karen: I'm too tired to slap your face bash your head into my palm would you.
Jack: *bashes face into Karen's palm*
(And there was this part where Karen was commentating on Jack's butt cheeks as they walked up the stairs but I
didn't get to type that, I was a bit preoccupied with laughing)
8:30 p.m.
Joey: 2000 dollars? what do you think I am, a soap opera star?!
Monica: *"duh" look* yeah?!
Joey: HELL YEAH I AM!
Chandler: I am your man! And I am going to get us through this! Even if it means you working twice as hard!
Chandler: Look on the bright side, at least you don't have to live with this ugly chair
Phoebe and the rest: *stares at chair, stares back at Chandler*
Chandler: That was here already, huh.
Phoebe: *nods*
Chandler: I love you!
9 p.m.
Meredith:
At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is
messy. That's how we're made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing
them. But there are some lines... that are way too dangerous to cross.
-
Oh my GOD I watched a Muse concert on MTV oh my god oh my god seriously shit man it's always something
else to see a band play live music HOW AWEFUCKINGSOME IS MUSE LIVE GEEZ.
Not a note out of tune or sold short. The vocals specially, it could well pass as a recording.
The sad thing about me is all my fanatic energy was completely drained during my tenth to fourteenth year. By
who? Linkin Park, duh.
Late into that era I composed my first serious piece of writing (any others earlier than that were primary school
compositions about friendship and bullies and happy endings and teenage spies - all a la Disney. In short, any
others earlier than that were lame beyond compare), an amateur argumentative entitled Why Linkin Park
Rules.
I know, stupid title, but it was a start.
This was the Xanga Age.
Earlier than that and I had not yet found the words to express the respect and love I had for the band except
LINKIN PARK RULEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
or
LP RAWKS MY SOCKS
or
CHAZY CHAZ IS SOOOOO KEWL
And the LP picture as a background, the marquee of "Shut up when I'm talking to you ________ mushroom
stamps" (oh god I can't even remember the quote anymore) as a page header..... the LP-related passwords, the
URL, obsessive drawing of logos. (every pencilcase victual, files, my desk and several other pieces of school
property, i.e. a certain couple of computers in the Faraday lab. Yes that was me, my love.)
A very tiny part of this leaked into secondary school life by the way, if anyone caught it I would appreciate if
you would not mention it unless it's to have a good laugh at.
It's surprising to see how much you grow in less than a year, in the first half 2004 I was naive enough to go nuts
when Sam flashed her Sam Shinoda nametag because I thought she really was related to then Oh-So-Holy,
*
Die-Die-Must-Meet, Best Rapper slash Musician slash Best Chicken-Fricasee-Thrower in the Universe - Mike
Kenji Shinoda.
I still remember blogging about it, mentioning looking sideways from my work because the floating nametag
caught my eye, and you know, when you're completely obsessed with something you can spot it a mile away
even by first glance, and I jumped up to get a closer look on the "Shinoda."
stfu, I didn't know that fake nametags could be made then. Let us not talk about this.
I would paste blog entries, but I cannot remember, for the life of me, my Xanga account password. I think it was
chazychazmike or lprulezchaz or mrfroggylp (I mixed words up like that) LAUGH YOUR FUCKING ASS OFF but
yeah none of those worked. I should try again, I could use a few good laughs.
And then into the Fanaticism of the Pitas era, (lpfanatic.pitas.com/archive.html, for your amusement) when I
gushed about a very casual and short-termed friendship with someone from the LP message boards (his name....
Tom? Tim? Mike? Joe? Some one-syllable common name, I don't recall), he said he won a contest and was going
to meet LP. As usual, I went nuts and said he HAD to tell them about me, and I remember at the time I was so
elated and excited and I fully believed that they were going to know an Adrienne Santos residing in
Singapore.
I
fully believed it. Of course, nothing happened, I stopped seeing him online after around five
conversations, at best he deleted and blocked me, at worst... dead.
Other fanatic tendencies included:
- Visiting every single fansite (even those of foreign languages)
- memorizing quotes
- Reciting quotes
- Starting a list on why Linkin Park rules
- planning to actually send the list to Linkin Park
- Going through every single plastic card in the house in search of a credit card (ticket to LPU)
- Going around saying that 'kenji' is Japanese for 'supreme coolness'
The list - I still have, I should scan it one day, it was back in early 1S1 - me and Divya and Bernette and Claire
and Nicole and Eshita and Jessleen.
I will never forget one of the points Nicole wrote, it said "THEY'RE NOT THE CHEEKY GIRLS!!" in a pink pen...
oh god Cheeky Girls... classic, man.
I believe the fanaticism died early 2004 and the only reason why it existed is because three years later here I am
using it as content for my already 30KB blog entry and getting a good laugh out of it.
*Die-Die-Must-Meet - singaporean jargon, yo. "Die Die Must" being a fervent,
exaggerated implication of Something that must be done / must happen, so important that it is a matter of life and
death.
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Updated Sunday, July 30, 2006, 10:57 a.m.
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